The GIRLS IRL podcast is back after a short (but much-needed break). In this episode, we talk about Dr Gary Chapman’s Love Languages. Check out the latest episode on Anchor and Apple Podcasts.
For those of you interested in a written breakdown, fear not! We have you covered with a guide and breakdown of Dr Chapman’s love languages.
The concept of love languages is a new phenomenon to us, but it turns out we all have love languages whether we realise it or not. The things that we do for others or appreciate when given in return all link to our love language, and underpin how we behave, what we seek and how we love.
But what are love languages?
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, love languages are various ways of love expression. There are five in total; words of affirmation, quality of time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. Understanding which love language(s) you prioritise may help with relationships and understanding how you can find happiness in romantic partners.
Your love language will be understood by those fluent enough to listen and reciprocate. It’s not your duty to teach people how to love you.
Billy Chapata | The Good Quote
Words of affirmation
Or compliments if you will. Whether that is positive support or saying ‘I love you’, you express your love with your words and make people feel good about themselves, and also seek this is a partner.
Eg. I love the avocado toast you have made for me.
Quality of time
You really appreciate one-on-one time with a significant other, with no distractions. You value dedicated time for you and them to be together, and this helps you to maintain intimacy and a connection.
Eg. Want to eat some avocado toast with me and turn our phones off?
Physical touch
For those with the physical touch love language, there is nothing more important than being close to your partner. It helps you to feel more connected, whether this is holding hands, an arm around the waist or kissing. You value this physical connection between the two of you.
Eg. *hug* in exchange for some avocado toast
Acts of service
This love language is all about doing something to help a spouse or something you know they like to do. This could be cooking or doing a task like doing the grocery shopping because you know they don’t have time/are tired. The time, effort, and selflessness are what matters here.
Eg. Can I make you some avocado toast?
Receiving gifts
You appreciate gestures that show someone was thinking of you when you weren’t present. This could be something small from picking up your favourite coffee or could be surprising you with your dream city break. It doesn’t matter what scale the gift is; it is all about knowing they consider you and think of you in your absence.
Eg. Hey, I bought you some avocado toast!
So, what love language do you identify with? If you need more help, go to their website and take the quiz to find out your results. Don’t forget to listen to our podcast to find out what we thought of the love languages.
Words by Shannon Mountford
GIRLS IRL 